The day they left my hand…

The kids and I were walking home after spending the afternoon in the park. We were busy playing I spy when I felt Mia let go of my hand and went off running ahead, “ Catch me! ” SHE LET GO. It was the first time since she learned to walk that she didn’t want to hold my hand. I’m sure all you parents out there can relate and you’d agree that it hits you. I’m not sure how to best describe it, all I can say is you feel it in your chest, you feel it in your stomach, you feel it all over like a part of you physically disconnected from your body. I took a moment to snap back and then smiled to myself...My baby is growing up. A few weeks later, it happened again. We went away for the weekend to visit a beautiful little town known for its clear skies and the oldest pisco factories. After a tasting session, while we were heading out, Ethan left my hand and ran...HE LET GO.  You’d think it would have been easier this time around but no, it was as difficult as the first time. Yet again, I needed a moment to snap back.

As a parent, we have a tough role to play. Just when you think you have mastered the parenting game, that's when the rules change. You're left in uncharted waters learning to swim all over again. It’s a vicious cycle. I need to admit, that it has been an emotional roller coaster ride. This puts us as parents in that awkward place. It’s teaching them to walk all over again every single time. You know you have to leave their hand, you know they will first have those wobbly walks and you know they may fall. Do you let them fall? Do you catch them? How long should you support them while they walk? Is it your call to let go or is it theirs? Each parent will have a different approach and their unique style. I’m not here to tell you how to teach your child to walk, you know that or you’ll figure it out along the way. Though we all have different parenting styles, different approaches, and different philosophies, all of us are on the same quest...to raise individuals who are self-reliant, independent, and good human beings. Yeah, along the way different circumstances and environmental factors will affect them but the goal is to be there for them, right?

“Your children are not your children,

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you they belong not to you.”

- Kahlil Gibran

If you are not a parent you may wonder, what’s the big deal? It’s not about letting go, as much as it is the realization that your babies don’t need you anymore that sinks in. I know it sounds selfish but every mother has moments when she wished her babies were older to be able to leave them unattended just so she could have a few moments to herself. But in reality, we secretly wish they remain little forever, don’t we? We moms struggle to adjust to our kids growing up. They are individuals, they have their roles to play and they have their own mistakes and choices to make. Though we are their parents, we need to constantly remind ourselves that they do not belong to us. We as parents are merely mediators and our job is to give them the tools to help them be the individuals they are meant to be. We all know it but accepting it proves to be a challenge. We have a huge responsibility, it goes beyond feeding them and providing them with the basic necessities. It is to nurture, care for, and love them and most importantly empower them to become the best versions of themselves. After all, we are raising the future generation. And it’s not an easy task.

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.”

- Kahlil Gibran

Letting go has been a liberating experience as a parent. It’s gifting your child the freedom to explore, to make their own choices, to take their path, and to be who they want to be. Letting go is helping them unleash their potential. It is about trusting them. You’ve given them the tools. You taught them to walk. Now trust that they can, trust that if they fall they will pick themselves up and dust themselves off and run again. And you’re going to be there watching them while they stumble and watching them when they achieve great heights and all the way in between. And if they ever need that extra nudge you are going to be there in their corner to cheer them on, hug them or kiss that boo-boo away and let them get going again. It’s not only about raising independent kids but trusting them and building their self-confidence and self-esteem in the process. It’s about helping them believe in themselves and watching them grow.

I have made my peace with the reality that they are going to grow up, they are going to be independent, and they are going to live life on their terms. They won’t need me to make their meals or help them change or tuck them into bed when they are older but I will forever be there to hug them when they need it, to be their cheerleader all their life, and to be their emotional support and anchor when life is hard at them. Even though they will grow up and not need me anymore, I’ll always be there.

So, dear mama, it's time to let go!

P.S-  Dear Ethan and Mia, if you ever read this, I want you to know that I love you and will always be here. Even though I wish you remain my babies forever, I am so proud to see how loving, friendly, and independent you already are. I take pride to call myself your mama. ❤️❤️